July 7,2022 Forgiving Evil…#389

Forgiving evil. Within this past year, I have removed the toxic people from my life. It was not an easy thing to do. However, after years of forgiving their toxic ways over and over, it was beginning to affect my health. Then another evil entity came to visit, CANCER.

There are some evils that one cannot forgive; you must first love before you have the need to forgive. There are evils in our nation, our world that I cannot love; therefore, I have no reason to forgive. Some things are just too evil to forgive.

I love those that became toxic in my life dearly, and I have forgiven them. Was I perfect? No, but I was not filled with toxicity as they were. I had room in my soul to forgive and still love, even though they do not feel they have done anything wrong.

I wish the world could be like my fur baby Dixie. She is filled with so much love she believes that she belongs to everyone, and she shows them what love she has to offer. Most return her love. I believe Dixie sometimes keeps me alive, my prayers, and those who send me their prayers, thoughts, love and having a wonderful family.

During our lifetimes, we can give and take love; it will go on if you continue to fill all your empty places with passion, mindfulness, and kindness. EAJM 

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Sorrow will last forever…#352

Image result for sharecropper

I sometimes picture myself being born in another time; I may sit for long periods of time letting my mind wander.  My situation does not change much, I may be holding the bridle of a mule plowing fresh ground during planting time; if I find a piece of paper floating in the warm southern breeze, I chase it down.  Maybe I can use it to write on, a bit of poetry or a short story about my life as a sharecropper’s daughter.

There is always proof somewhere in the scene that lets me know that I come from poor folk.  I wear it like a suit of armor, it does not fail me.  Like a pencil falling from my hand, I am brought back to the present, I am much older, much wiser, and mostly happy with where I am in life.  I know that I will not see sixteen again, nor even thirty!

In my whole life, I only loved one boy, yes, a boy.  A high school boy! That was before my life was turned upside down, he moved on with his life and at sixteen, I stood still.  Was it love?  I like to think so, of course, girls, women seem to fall into certain unclear slots of not knowing what they want.  From farm girl to city girl before I had an adjustment to either.  In those days the parents made the decisions, today the teens make their own decisions in most situations. 

The mental health issues have not changed, just the teens are growing up much too fast.  The schools, nor the parents fail to recognize that they are too far out of their comfort zone.  The parents are allowing them to make decisions that are still being pondered by a much older age group; they are children making adult decisions.  As parents, we are allowing them to do so, thus comes problems later in life.

When one of the great masters was dying his last words were “Sorrow will last forever”.  That could be anyone’s epitaph as the eternal has its own laws. 

EAJM

©2021.elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

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I have waited all of my life, where are you?…#341

Image result for artwork waiting on the shore




I have waited all of my life, where are you?
I have watched many moons go by, seen the
Seasons change outside my window.  I have
seen the Tulips bloom in spring, the wild flowers
scatter themselves among the tall grasses and
the young bushes trying to live. 
I watched the sparkle of campfires and fireplaces,
watched my body go from firm youthful skin to
wrinkles that I do not recognize, still I wait for you. 
Time does exist, lingers in light, darkness, the glow
of a fire in fall, I picture the boats bringing you to
me from the other side of the world, from the island
that is yours alone, I wait for you.
Now, it is time for me to stop my watch and wait,
time for me to turn the page away from dreaming
to reality, you will not come and rescue me from
the life that I have lived.  I have stop searching the
horizon, do not look for me, for I shall already be
dead. 
The winds of time passes through life, my heart has
taken roots on many shores.  It was not destined
for me to have love, it is too late, I have no more
tomorrows.  I am the flower whose petals have
blown away in the winds of spring, but, I do hope
that I am remembered when the snow falls.       



©2021.elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

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A Passage into Madness: A State of Frenzied Activity: Johnson-Murphree, Elizabeth Ann: 9781688948990: Amazon.com: Books

A Passage into Madness: A State of Frenzied Activity

Mothers Freedom…#331

Image result for mothers freedom

Mothers’ Freedom

It is good that I cannot remember the day of my birth, 
although since, I have questioned why I am on this 
earth; my mother did not want me she wanted to be 
free.  I understand the poverty in which I arrived, I 
still did not understand years later, when she told 
me she would have been happy if I had died.
She told of not having even an aspirin for the pain, 
and that she feared the future and afraid her that her
 life would never be the same.  Mother told of the old
iron bed with cornhusk mattress that stood on a bare
 wooden floor.  Of how they kept out the cold with raw
 cotton from, the nearby field stuffed into the cracks 
of the homemade door.
Delivered by a neighboring mid-wife, weighing only 
two pounds my mother told her to take me away, 
while saying, and “I hope that she will be gone by the
 end of the day”.  It is said that my father took me into
 his well-worn hands, whispered to me, you can live, 
and I know that you can.  He placed me in a shoebox,
 put me on the front seat of his old pickup truck and 
carried me away.  He would not see me until my 
birthday, exactly three-years from that day.
Left with a dear old black woman that I until this day 
refer to her as mother: you see I knew no other.  She
 packed my clothes in a clean cloth sack, she cried, 
but she knew that one day my father would want me 
back.  He looked at my birth mother saying that I would 
never again go away, she responded without feeling 
saying, “it would be he that took care of me if I stayed”.
The years, they quickly flew by, my mother she was 
never at home, then the day came that my father died, 
I recognized her but did not see her cry.  Me, I soon had 
children of my own and knew what kind of mother I 
wanted to be, and unlike my own, even with children, I
 always felt free.
I had not seen her for many years when I heard that 
she had died, too late to feel a mothers touch, too late 
to hear her say, “I love you so much.”  I cried, but not f
or me, I cried because at last she had been set free.

©2021.elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

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The Essence of Paradise…#327

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The Essence of Paradise

Joyful simplicities are a means 
to survive, inspiration keeps the 
soul alive, watching seasons as 
they have come and gone.  One 
survives year after year, as the 
heart continues on the journey 
to where it belongs.
Attend to life’s garden reach for 
impossible dreams.  Let the 
mind seek what it envisions, look 
beyond all of the tomorrows and 
do not settle for only what the 
eyes can see.
Learn to shed the skins of time
 never give up hope, the path 
leading to dreams will be
 easier to find, walk hand in 
hand with a true love during
 a warm misty spring.  Drink 
in the aromas of life and it 
will bring back memories of 
the essence of paradise.

©2021.elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

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Love Defined…#301

Roses, Red Roses, Bouquet Of Roses

Love Defined

Love thy face a shapeless flame,

A wonderful nothing it claimed

Did I see, as sensation set itself?

Free.  Love steadily gone, a

Choir of seraphs did I hear, as love

Spent within my sphere.

©2021.elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

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#Love

Limiting Time…#300

Limiting Time

Survival, panorama, prospect, quality of life’s environment, genetics and promises that reveal nothing, the past descends like rain from the sky, washing away all dreams. 

Ghost of youth chanting within the soul, paths blocked; evil has spread across the landscape of a lifetime. 

Loneliness, love and happiness; limits, boundaries slow down the process of the future.

Nevertheless, the future may be shrouded with abundant solitude from where there is no escape.

©2021.elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

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Ending 2020…#254

I woke with the need to leave the last post of 2020; it has been a cruel year.

I wanted to start this year, with my need to return to exercising, I have not done more than a few steps whether the weather was good or bad, at present in Wisconsin we have had a new snow fall.  So, I spent thirty-minutes on the treadmill.  A small amount of time, however, for someone who has not been exercising that is quite a bit.  In the building where I live they have a small fitness room.  No, tiny, a treadmill and two exercise bikes fill the space.  I remember when I came here eight years ago, a healthier me, I went to a gym and there was no need to utilize the space.  This past year the “manager”, place signage on certain areas.  One day I past the room and there on the door was a sign “FITNESS CENTER’”, I open the door, nope there was not another door leading to bigger and better equipment, just the tiny room.  A source of humor for everyone, I believe that I may be the only one who uses the equipment.  That was where my thoughts returned at 7:30 AM when I opened a book b Anne LaMotte and begin to walk.  Age tried to kill this body in 2020, and being shut in for nine months would have killed the mind; but there was enough to write about to keep me going.   I begin a battering of tests due to health matters; this can make for a difficult time mentally and physically. 

It was a year of lies and controversy. 

The possibility of a biblical apocalypse came upon us when “Locust” hit Africa.  I expected it in the US but I guess it was not our time.  Somewhere among several countries, fires were determined to destroy great masses of land.  President Donald Trump was impeached!  Covid-19 hit the US, and toilet paper begins to either be removed by stores or customers were hoarding.  I do not know where the rumor that Covid gave one diarrhea, but a panic cleaned the store shelves of all paper products.  I believe they were fighting over it in Wal-Mart.  Let’s not forget the talk of “Demon Sperm”!   Next, disinfectant, wipes, sanitizer could not be found, again hoarding.  President Trump wanted to ban Tic Toc, but his life was spent on Twitter.  If it could happen it did.

I am ready for 2020 to end; I fought health issues and survived a couple of serious surgeries.  I am on the mend, I hope, and looking forward to 2021.  I lost my four-legged companion, Mason; the hole in my heart will never fully mend.  Yet, I have hopes for the future.  I have a new pup coming into my life in January 2021; she will not take the place of my darling Mason.  I hope she and I will become good friends, and I hope the love will grow.  I want to finish a book I have started (second year), become healthy and enjoy my family and the country that I live in; I want to see Covid as a dim thought.

Have a great New Years Eve…be safe and my you all go into the new years with hope.

EAJM

©2020.elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

Flying with Broken Wings

Book Promotion – December 2020




Author Elizabeth Ann Johnson-Murphree books at: Amazon.com and Barnes&Noble.com

Flying with Broken Wings covers the life of Charlotte Jean Murphree. Charlotte was not a famous person, in fact, not too many people knew her, but those that did knew there were many facets to her life. The book tells of fifty-two-years of daily testing of her will to carry on and the misfortune she faced. As a baby and young girl she was bullied by schoolchildren, her progress was slow but she never gave up the fight to overcome her disabilities. As an adult, she fought Cerebral Palsy, Bipolar, Depression and Schizophrenia disorders. Within Charlotte lived many, she endured the “Voices” for over thirty years. This book is about her beginning, her middle and the end of her life.

Books by Author: Amazon.com and Barnes&Nobel.com

(In USA and 12 countries abroad)

Flying with Broken Wings: The Life Story of Charlotte Jean Murphree: Johnson-Murphree, Elizabeth Ann: 9781547051328: Amazon.com: Books

#Mental Illness, #Bipolar, #Cerebral Palsy, #Depression, #Schizophrenia, #Hearing Voices

Flying with Broken Wings…#253

Book Promotion – December 2020




Author Elizabeth Ann Johnson-Murphree books at: Amazon.com and Barnes&Noble.com

Flying with Broken Wings covers the life of Charlotte Jean Murphree. Charlotte was not a famous person, in fact, not too many people knew her, but those that did knew there were many facets to her life. The book tells of fifty-two-years of daily testing of her will to carry on and the misfortune she faced. As a baby and young girl she was bullied by schoolchildren, her progress was slow but she never gave up the fight to overcome her disabilities. As an adult, she fought Cerebral Palsy, Bipolar, Depression and Schizophrenia disorders. Within Charlotte lived many, she endured the “Voices” for over thirty years. This book is about her beginning, her middle and the end of her life.

Books by Author: Amazon.com and Barnes&Nobel.com

(In USA and 12 countries abroad)

Flying with Broken Wings: The Life Story of Charlotte Jean Murphree: Johnson-Murphree, Elizabeth Ann: 9781547051328: Amazon.com: Books

#Mental Illness, #Bipolar, #Cerebral Palsy, #Depression, #Schizophrenia, #Hearing Voices

Flying with Broken Wings…#253



Author Elizabeth Ann Johnson-Murphree books at: Amazon.com and Barnes&Noble.com

Flying with Broken Wings covers the life of Charlotte Jean Murphree. Charlotte was not a famous person, in fact, not too many people knew her, but those that did knew there were many facets to her life. The book tells of fifty-two-years of daily testing of her will to carry on and the misfortune she faced. As a baby and young girl she was bullied by schoolchildren, her progress was slow but she never gave up the fight to overcome her disabilities. As an adult, she fought Cerebral Palsy, Bipolar, Depression and Schizophrenia disorders. Within Charlotte lived many, she endured the “Voices” for over thirty years. This book is about her beginning, her middle and the end of her life.

Books by Author: Amazon.com and Barnes&Nobel.com

(In USA and 12 countries abroad)

Flying with Broken Wings: The Life Story of Charlotte Jean Murphree: Johnson-Murphree, Elizabeth Ann: 9781547051328: Amazon.com: Books