Epoch of Living…#134

 

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Epoch of Living…
In this age with the elderly outnumbering the rest of society, I have been privilege to be a part of some living and passing. It is the days before their glorious ascension that I write about today. I live in an Independent complex for “seniors”; the transference was not an easy one, but the simplicity of living outweighed all other situations. Why do I write about this subject? The decline of the human body and sometimes the Spirit and Soul. I have surveyed many and followed their decline and fight to live a productive and peaceful life. The subject matter of this post is my own personal opinion.

The healthy hearty individuals who chose to give up their homes for a more simple life, less house and yard work arrive with smiles. They have underground parking and no longer have to fight the winter weather, snow and ice. They have activities if they wish to participate, everything from cards, bingo, community choirs and gatherings to potlucks and holiday meals and cook outs.

In the beginning they are many times met in these “get-to-gathers” by the few with more boisterous personalities, i.e., they want to run the show and those attending. I do not attend these gatherings, as I have always been an advocate for the elderly…then became one. By the time we get to these types of living situations many have lost the fight that we possessed in younger days, we allow the few to control the masses. These are individual choices and I in no way want to judge why some lets others control them. Of course, there is also living in the complex those few like myself who choose to walk to our own drummer so to speak. Nonetheless, it is a source of irritation to me when I hear of the controlling few and how they act toward their fellow women and men.

Back to the decline, the residents arrive with enthusiasm, new cars, and settle into a less stressful lifestyle. It is the decline of the human body and mind that I get upset with the progress. Within a few years, their cars are taken from them, leaving them without transportation and at the mercy of their children or grandchildren to provide rides to doctor visits and shopping. I have observed those who did not need to give up driving, it was taken away because a child wanted the use of the vehicle. When discussing a sometimes-tragic decision tears come to their eyes, they were not ready, nor did they need to be ready. Then there are those who should have had those vehicles taken to protect the public and they had no one to make the choice for them, they are a danger to society.

The few who remain independent is not what this post is regarding, it is about those who fall into the category of being told what to do, or have relatives forget they exist. The brave few who are capable of making their own decisions and continue to live a lifestyle that should be afforded the elderly I applaud them. There are those who have loving children and are held in high regard by those children, they are well cared for and visited often.

This bring me to those who are within time visited by their children only on holidays, if even then, or those who come around to “get” what they want material, financial or otherwise. I have witnessed too many times when a family would come in Mother’s Day with a lily, and within thirty minutes, they are leaving. The same with Christmas, they arrive Christmas Eve with poinsettias and leave within a few minutes they do not want to disrupt their own lives by spending too much time with who should be their “loved” ones. It is at this stage of life that the residents of the complex transfer slowly from walking to wheelchair, walker or cane. Now, we all may get in that position during an illness, but we fight each time to return to being as active as possible. Many are happy to sit in front of their TV all day as age progresses; this brings on the final days quicker.

However, after all is said and done one cannot help getting older and go through the various stages of life to reach their final destination. Moreover, for all that I have written, I am thankful that I can remain mentally productive and continue to do what I have always dreamed of doing upon retirement, write, publish and enjoy my days with hope for a long and happy future. With that being said, it is in these living situations that we reach the end of our journeys; I wrote a short poem that started the entire premise of this post.

Angel Wings

How sweet is the foreboding, yet dying can be a beautiful sight. Even though it can be hard to bear, the thoughts are wonderful of one’s soul floating to Heaven on God’s golden air.

Family and friends gather sitting close to the hearths, angels waiting nearby; love ones questioning…why!

Death is something that is impossible to prepare, the angels try to fill the room with loving care. Love ones watch with a fallen tear…listen can you hear the angels sing. Another soul given their wings.

 

 

©2019.elizabethannjohnsonmurphree

 

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8 thoughts on “Epoch of Living…#134

  1. I’ve experienced similar things with my parents. And I expect I’ll be in your and their shoes in a few years. I think it can be very hard for children to see parents deteriorate. There is not much they can do about it. Plus their mortality is a reminder of what lies ahead for us all, should we live that long. I try to stay healthy and would love to live to 100. But maybe not.

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  2. It makes me sad to think of being in a retirement home or care facility and my children not having the time for me. I would be ready for an assisted exit at that point. As for the driving one of the hardest things I ever had to do was report to my Aunt’s doctor that she was getting lost while driving and most of the time could not remember when she had parked her car. Her memory was going badly and she was often confused. He called her for an examination and then called me back to say he had taken her driving license. I knew this robbed her of her independence.She lived in the city and had access to public transport close at hand but she could no longer drive to the country. She had a stroke about a year after and needed 24 hour care and then within six months she died. Was the decline caused by the loss of the car and her independence? It may have hastened it. Her doctor said he thought she had already had some small strokes and that was what contributed to her confusion. He felt it was unsafe for her to be driving. Still it was a tough decision for me to make.

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    1. Anne, in no way do I believe that removing your aunts car cause a quicker exit from this human life. My post was in general what I have surveyed in a senior housing facility. How when people age their personalities do not change that if they had to control in younger days it came with them into retirement. I have seen children place their parents into these facilities only to return during holidays or birthdays. Many are assistant living material but it is cheaper in senior housing than nursing facilities where they take all you have giving you $40 a month for spending. The is a growing situation that children chose over giving their inheritance to a nursing facility. My post only touched briefly on the many decent children that take care of their parents and visit often. My post was indicating how the elderly come into an independent living situation and slowly decline which is heartbreaking. I am an advocate for the elderly and will always be on the alert for abuse or mistreatment in any way. You are a sweet light in the darkness of sad situations. You help of you aunt is to be commended, my husband had his car taken away as he could not longer drive safely. It happens and it is people like yourself that takes a stand to see that your loved ones are safe. Again, no you did not haste her passing, I do believe that we all have a time and when the date arrives young or old we must take that journey home. I love your comments, thank you for following and I look forward to spending time on your site and read your post here. E.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you Elizabeth. I know that I did not hasten her death but it is still something painful for me to remember. Thank you for your post. The elderly need advocates!

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      2. Thank you for your response, as I move among the elderly I find they live day by day which should be adopted by everyone. They are not afraid or surprised by death. Have a wonderful holiday season, enjoy them as they come but once a year. E.

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