My Sister and I were having a conversation yesterday and it turned as usual to “family”. I know that we are not the only leaf on the family tree to fall, I hear many people talk who have the same quandaries with families. We discussed that we were always the ones to extend the “olive branch” so to speak. The keeping up with our much faceted family is heartbreaking and tiring. If you call them weekly to see how they are doing, and you say to yourself, why am I the only one to reach out? Then you start to count the years wasted in being the glue that may hold this small family together. I guess that we have a very diverse group of individuals that are related to each other. If you do not keep the flow of conversation going, it may and has been months or years before you give in and call them. They portray someone that has never left what a waste. I begin to think, if these people were not related to me would I have anything to do with them, would they be my friends, some yes and some no?
When one becomes tired of the obstacles, one must fight through to deal with them, to continue working on a one-sided family or friend relationship. A lifetime of being the one to write, call, visit, get real… they “use” you and then they return to their “entitled” selves. In addition, on and off family or friend relationship that “finally” becomes a chore to continue. The term “you have to love them, as in family”, maybe… “But you don’t have to like them” or “continue to have something to do with them. It is time to move on, but first some thoughts…
Reverting to past times and starting new…trust your instinct about one-sided relationships. You are not obligated to make continuous “start over’s” when these people do not contribute to a relationship, family or friend. Vow to give yourself a new start and ending all the old turmoil in your life, be bold. Their “Faith” does not have to be your faith. The entitled relative or friend has no real pride, it is false, they have had everything given to them in life and continues to expect more. You do not have to bear the weight of their crisis of the day that turns into a joke tomorrow. Give up, accept final defeat, you need to stop extending that “olive branch” when you have been shunned, mistreated, or was always the giver while the user takes. This type of relationship is not cracked it is broke!
“It takes years to learn to move on to understand that you were not in the wrong. Hope for change in this type of person is overrated and outdated, reality needs to be fully awake and aware, leave the past behind and their hypocrisy. You have been kept too long on the “family or friend” hook; their manipulation gives them power, the “I will call you, so you do not call me as I may be busy” needs to end.
Hypocrisy is the claim or pretense of feelings, behaviors, characteristics that one does not in fact have, these people have false acts and their motive is for gain. Failing to perceive and condemn faults of their own is their real normal. These people, these human beings misuse others and justify their own behavior. Evil is not uncommon, it is every day. Hypocrites believe that they are good, that they are innocent, and the victim.
My decision going forward, gives no chance or favor, my rule only. It is my life, it is worth living without constant conflict, the emotional pain these people impose should nourish your courage, the time comes when…”SAYING GOODBYE TO THESE PEOPLE MAY BE THE ONLY SECOND CHANCE YOU WILL GET”.
Peace and Love
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